I met with my life coach this past week, someone who can guide my thoughts and goals/desires/dreams for my life and my "homework" was to put my thoughts down on "paper." I just chose the more convenient way of the internet see through paper, so welcome to my life ;) My daily blog is more of a look at life, rather than a look at me. Please read and give me some feedback, so I can learn even more about myself and the whole movement of life ;)
Finding a job is always hard, recessions or not. When you apply for one, receieve the call for an interview, get yourself in some sort of readiness and then go to the interview; you do not expect an instant rebuttal without even being allowed to share yourself with the people only seeing your clothes and white pieces of paper called a CV. This happened to me today, and for the soul it is quite a smack. It hurts, makes you want to roll into ball and act like a hedgehog - prickly and making sure no-one comes too close to see the real emotions.
I ask myself while writing this first blog of probably a few more; where do we go when life does not direct you anywhere? When life burns, when it seems empty and has no horizon but empty sky. You feel like a Grand Piano that is so beautifully crafted, made specifically for a reason, every key marked with the finger prints of our Maker, but no-one wanting to play it. You know you have got so much to say, so much music to create, so many people to impact and impart emotions, so many faces to make smile and hearts to love...but no-one seems to want to open the piano and slowly play.
I don't know if that makes sense, but I am waiting to be played; to create a new symphony that has never been heard before. To draw in the right woman to marry, to play a beautiful song that resonates throughout my family, my work, my life. My everything. "In my life, Your will be done." And this makes me ask myself, with all my failures, pain, anger, loss of direction so many times, who are we that God is mindful of us. Mindful of me. A God who owns the Universe, holds it in His hand...a God who takes time to come down and be with me 24/7. If I feel Him or not. If I shout at life or not. If I want to live or not. If I want to run away from it all, leave all behind and visit foreign places that I want to be engulfed in forever. God does not care; I know him as a "Job" God who cares enough that I don't die, that I don't lose everything. A "Jonah" God that will call me back to where I may not want to be, but where He wants me to be - because He has something that I need.
That's really it. He has something that I need. I do not know what it is, and may not want to be around for a heart to heart...but one thing I do know is that He has something for me. And because He is good, it will be right. I just have to hold on; and ask myself the question that opens up miracles -
Who is man that God is mindful of him?
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